The Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Balloons

•April 29, 2013 • Leave a Comment

For me, I think the project that had the most impact of the fear projects was Ariana’s. For her projects, she burned momentos from an abusive relationship and set them free with a blue balloon, though the balloon got caught in a tree, ironically.

For me, it was the fact that she was willing to get up and let the audience experience it with her, to get the class to participate instead of just sitting there. She also actually did something physical instead of simply talking about their feelings, which is what I feel like this projects should have been about, showing how fear affects you, and sharing that with the audience. I wanted to be active with other people’s fears, to be able to visualize them and connect, instead of hearing ‘My biggest fear is…’ Over and over and over.

I think that it effects more than just my outlook on my project. I’m in a similar situation that she was in, thankfully not to that major extent, but to a point that I know I will never be happy while I continue to be in it, and seeing her able to be happy even after all that happened and being able to find someone else that appreciates her and cares deeply about her makes me have more faith that I’ll get out of this situation soon.

As for my fear project, she was the only one that volunteered to sing with me, which obviously meant a lot to me, but seeing hers makes me think about how I should be stronger, and I should stand up for myself when I’m unhappy, which I have a bad habit of sacrificing for the sake of others.



Brass Goggles

•March 24, 2013 • Leave a Comment

I think the class will be somewhat disappointed that such an opportunity might go wasted (if I pull this off). I am putting myself in a position of vulnerability with this and what I do might possibly speak to many or upset them because it’s not per my usual going out to left feildness, or however that saying is. Some might think it’s a cop out, one of those people being me, and while I wish I could bring in all of my plans, it just wasn’t going to happen, but this little idea spoke to me and seemed to bring all those ideas into one union.



My experiment was altered slightly at the last minute. At first, my experiment was to simply volunteer to be first and that was pretty much it, but I felt like that plan lacked sustenance, and felt like I wasn’t offering enough. To make it seem more meaningful and worthwhile to myself. I conducted what I called a mini karaoke session. I stood in front of the class and offered people the chance to sing a song or sing along with me. One girl took up the offer, and we ended up singing two Disney songs together, since I wanted to keep it short so others could show their projects.

I think while people might’ve not seen it as a cop out, they might’ve not seen what the point of it all was. The point was to force me to deal with all the problems that came with by impromptu karaoke session, and the risks that came with going first, which I usually shy away from. What saddened me is that only one person volunteered. I expected more to be willing, since this whole thing was about facing or inciting fear.

I think when I asked for volunteers, I kind of missed the point of my own project by giving myself someone to fall back on and laugh with if we sounded horrible, instead of singing on my own. If I did it again, I would do something on my own, a solo, instead of making it something goofy and about fun, though I will still terrified since I have four gold medals in singing under my belt and knew this probably wasn’t going to be the greatest performance. In the end. I kinda feel like I didn’t really face my fear completely.


Possum Skull a Go Go

•March 21, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Her me, the talking stick had both it’s pros and cons. While it allowed for one person to fully express themselves, they not be able to add to the conversation without the aid or ideas of others. For extroverts, a talking stick can heavily infringe on their need to be vocal and say what they are saying, while introverts usually don’t mind waiting their turn because they are more known for listening and taking in information, rather than giving it.

For me, because I didn’t really know what to talk about, I simply assumed that we were talking about spring break for some reason. I would have loved to talk about some of my milestones, like I thought we were going to class for, but instead I wasted my time with the stick talking about how boring my present day is and how my spring break consists of the drastic change of maybe facing the other way when sitting at my desk, but even I felt the need to put in my two cents, even though I usually don’t anyway due to my non assertive nature.

Survey says GIVE ME SENSES

•March 4, 2013 • Leave a Comment

At first, I wanted to start this about money and how it is usually a major block to me in certain situations. I had all these ideas on how to incorporate money into the face senses, but I couldn’t really think of a way to make it so others experience it like I do. I had planned to make ‘gloves’ out of fake money and tape metal coins under my nose for touch and smell, but, while I was failing horribly at finding the fake money packets at Wal-mart, I found myself… Distracted.

At first I didn’t really realize it. I just continued looking for the fake money, but I kept thinking about this little glow in the dark sword thing in the party favors section and how it related  to other aspects in my life, and not to mention it was only 97 cents.  I mean, come on. That sounds like the greatest thing ever.

And then it hit me.

This was no longer about money being a roadblock. It was about distractions, and how these little things were distracting me from my main goal. It happens all the time and it was happening while I was actually looking to get something done.

So to explore this sense of distraction, I bought that little glow in the dark sword, and I’m going to use it to distract people. Hopefully they see it and pay more attention to it and not me when I’m talking, and as such, be distracted. That will be my was of showing distraction through sight.

For another sense, I’m going to record random stuff on my phone, then play it while I’m talking. I also have a small surprise that somewhat has both sight and sound combined at the end, but knowing me, my discussion will take maybe two minutes and I wouldn’t have even taken the sword out.


The Pursuit of Happiness (minus Eddie Murphy)

•February 18, 2013 • Leave a Comment

For me, that pure moment of bliss is rare. My mood tends to be finicky, and fleeting. To be content, it takes a lot, but to be blissful? It’s almost impossible. I tend to want things to be perfect and void of any outer stress in my life, along with things like;

Learning or experimenting with one of my fields of interest.

Having people around that I don’t have to intact with. I don’t know why, but I enjoy being around people I don’t have to talk to.

Not any real loud noises. I don’t like complete silence, but not something eardrum shattering.

Usually involves me spending money, cause who doesn’t like spending money on something they like (when they can’t get it for free, of course.)

Now, with these requirements come roadblocks, of course. One can be the financial burden that comes with possible travel or purchasing something. Another can be actually gathering the will to actually do something, which is my hardest hurdle to jump. The last one I can currently think of it being able to actually disconnect from all the stress of life, such as deadlines, relationships, chores, excersize, and many other things.


So the bookstore seemed the best plausible place to relax. Luckily for me, there’s a Barnes & Noble right down the street from me, so for my three hours, I sat in the back with a good mix of art magazines, a few of the new, sad generation of young adult novels, and Fifty Shades of Grey, just because I needed some comedy in there. I figured out another roadblock was getting distracted very easily, even from stuff I want to do, but I managed to overcome the mentioned roadblocks, meaning they are only temporary and easily passable, though frequent and nagging.


•February 11, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Before Saturday, I was planning on doing this assignment on how my new fridge scares the shit out of me, but like always these ideas come at the last minute.

Saturday was the day of my Grandmother’s 70th birthday party. She picked Ryan’s for who knows what reason and invited so many people that I didn’t know. In my nervousness, I did what I always did; take the wrapper of my straw and tear it into little pieces. I used someone else’s wrapper as a fortune teller. Some time ago, some told me that if you tie a straw wrapper in a knot and pull it out and the knot comes out, then someone is thinking about you. If it doesn’t, well then you’re fucked.

After the candles were blown out and the helium balloons were sucked on, the strangers who were relatives were gone, and the close, intermediate family remained. We rallied around the birthday girl, playing around like we couldn’t in front of the others. Cousins taunted cousins. Aunts pulled the hair of nieces. The family was the family once, more, just with the fun of being in a public setting.

And then the war started.

The first victim was my aunt, who was the casualty of a rogue shot. She was hit multiple times before the battle really started. Rounds flew across the tacky blue and green carpet. Soldiers were lost, but all for the greater good.


Never forget.


What is the difference between looking and seeing? I feel like looking is just noticing something, not observing much about it other than obvious things, like color and size. Seeing is more like thinking about what can be done with it, how it can be used normally or abnormally, possibly re-purposing it. This Saturday, I used straw wrappers three different ways. I saw them as a stress reliever, as a way to read minds, and as ammo.

Ideas for SS assignment (Juxtaposition)

•February 4, 2013 • Leave a Comment

The assignment:

Present juxtaposing ideas in a 8×10 area. Goal is to create 2-3 ‘slides’ a week, then have classmates guess the theme and corresponding clues. Possible prize involved.



One side has a monster, a furry, ferocious beast with snarling teeth protruding from it’s mouth. Horns extend from it’s head. The monster is hiding a secret though, right under those mounds of fur.


A man rests on the other side, his hair trimmed, fresh from the barber. His polo shirt speaks of professionalism. He has pictures of kids and a wife in his wallet, but something different rests inside his mouth.



The cold, corporate church stands tall above the sheep. Its denizens watch with magnifying glasses, aiming them at the next person to burn. They walk in hues of grey and black, but their insides are lined with green.


The naysayers climb the castle, looking to topple an empire. They have shed blood, sweat, and tears to fight for their opinion of freedom and righteousness. Tapestries of red cascade down the outer walls, signaling the beginning of a revolution.



Tap. Tap. Tap. The sounds of professionals walk across as the light signals red. The skies overhead are painted a faded grey. Screens around preach the lowest deals for the highest quality and the nearest location.


It seeps through the cracks only to be trampled upon by high heels and leather shoes. They bind it, hang it, replace it with a copy, and leave it to stave under false prophets, but it always comes back after the chill.



To be enriched by something, a fine wine paired with salted caramels, the feeling of a perfectly fitted dress or suit, or finding a feather left by geese long gone south. But to be enriched by someone. . .


The wine bottle is empty and you find out you don’t even like caramel. Your new attire rips on your first outing and is further destroyed by the shit of geese returning, filling the air with their loud squabble. You receive a text saying your lover is in the hospital. . .


5-1. White. The wings of angels. The first, untouched snow of winter. A woman on her wedding day.

5-2. Red. The devils that consume them. The piss of a drunkard writing his name in the snow. The husband’s mistress is the Maid of Honor.


6-1.Salty horns extend from your fingers, threatening to cut your latest victim, but end only as victims of your own gluttony.

6-2. Scratches along the surface, red paints the skin under.


7-1. Flawless, unblemished, void of wartime memories.

7-2. Faded, sun kissed and freckled form days in the sun, but neglected now, left alone in rooms of white.


8-1. A passerby, the witness, the speedy caller. Left them as they were.

8-2. Tried to help, but ended up making it worse, now the man lies dead and his blood is on their fingers. They only wanted to help.